


Serenading an Italian

by AlwaysRain



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, F/M, Human Names Used, Swearing, This is uber long and will be getting characters added to the tags as it goes so please be patient, seeing as it's Romano there's definately language
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-05-18
Updated: 2014-12-27
Packaged: 2018-01-25 15:49:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 19,750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1654037
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlwaysRain/pseuds/AlwaysRain
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lovina and Antonio started dating when they were 17. And they stopped when they were 23. She spends Valentine's Day alone for the first time in a long time, despite the 'mystery' person who's been texting her all day and sending her gifts. A story that started in highschool ends and opens up a new chapter; one where all Lovina's friends are getting married and she's still single. Even though that could change at any moment.<br/>Disclaimer: I own nothing other than the plot. Also this is set so that it starts in February 2013, and so all the dates I use will be from the 2013 calendar. And I don't know how long it's going to last, not for sure. But please enjoy!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“What are your plans for tonight, Lovina?”  
The small auburn-haired woman didn’t look up from the paperwork she was working on. “Nothing. Why? Am I supposed to have plans?”  
Elizaveta sighed, rolling her eyes. “Yes! It’s Valentine’s Day, duh!”  
“So? Buon San Valentino, if that’s what you’d like to hear from me. What does it matter?”  
“Oh, come on! You’re no fun at all. Don’t tell me you’re going to sit at home and mope again! You haven’t done that in, what, the five hours we’ve been at work? Liven up.”  
“Hey, I don’t mope. I contemplate the universe.” Elizaveta snorted and Lovina shot her a glare before continuing. “But I am going to sit at home. It’s quiet, it’s comfortable, it’s familiar, and I can get some work done. Also, I don’t have to worry about some fucktard ruining my life.”  
Her co-worker sighed again and leaned on the partition wall between their desks. “I get it. You’re not moping, but you’re not contemplating the universe. Can’t fool me, babygirl. You’re thinking about Antonio again.”  
Lovina’s grip on her ballpoint pen tightened. Her knuckles turned white. “No.” Elizaveta raised an eyebrow. “Possibly. Okay, fine, yes. But you know what? Fuck him!”  
Elizaveta giggled and bit back a snarky response of, ‘I bet you would’. She brushed hair away from her face, pinning it back by readjusting her flower clip. “Alright, I get it. Something happened. I know it did. What was it? Did you sleep with him?”  
“No.”  
“Almost sleep with him?”  
“No.”  
“Give him a-”  
“NO! God! Go back to work already!”  
“I won’t stay out of the loop forever, you know. You’re going to have to tell me sometime. Now is as good as ever. So, out with it! I want-” She was cut off as the phone at her desk rang. She jerked away from the partition wall, snatching the receiver in mid-ring. “Hello, this is Elizaveta, how can I help you?” She paused a moment, listening. “Vargas? Well, yes, as a matter of fact. Are you looking for Lovina or Felicia?” In the next desk over, Lovina raised her head with an expression of bewilderment. Felicia didn’t work here, if that’s who the caller was asking for. “I see… I see. Yes, you too sir. Have a nice day.” Setting the receiver back down, she turned to Lovina, looking confused. “Huh. That was weird.”  
“What do you mean?”  
Elizaveta leaned on the wall again. “Caller asked if a Vargas still worked here. Said Lovina, didn’t want to talk to you, but was wondering, then wished me a happy Valentine’s and hung up.”  
Lovina huffed, rolling her eyes. “Creep. Hey, listen, I’ve got a lot of work to do. I think I’m going to stay here for lunch.”  
“Seriously? You’re bailing on the whole office? It’s Valentine’s Day, we were all gonna go together!”  
“Sorry. I just think that with a little quiet time, I might get more done.”  
Elizaveta rolled her eyes, kissing the top of Lovina’s head as she passed. “You work too hard, darling. Don’t forget to eat.” She waved, then ran to catch up with the rest of the group by the elevators. Lovina chuckled, shaking her head as silence washed over the office. Accessing her computer, she opened a word document, recording data off a sheet of paper. A moment later, her cell phone pinged an alert.  
“God,” she said, half-sighing, “Can’t they just let me work? I don’t fucking _want_ to spend time with friends right now…”  
However, she found that the text was from a number she didn’t recognize.  
 _Please don’t forget to eat. I cooked for you. Lunch is in the office kitchen._  
Lovina stared at the message, contemplating. After a moment, she set down her pen and walked over to the elevators across the room, punching the button for the first floor. The doors dinged and opened after the elevator had stopped. As she pushed open the door to the kitchen, Lovina paused and sniffed.  
“I know that smell…”  
She pushed the rest of the way into the room, seeing a place set out for her at the main counter, a stool to sit on beside it. Biting her lip, she walked over to the counter, murmuring to herself.  
“Bacalao con Tomate without potatoes on the side… Pinot Gris to drink…” A small smile ghosted along her lips, though it was laced with pain. “Spanish dish, Italian wine. Just like… like dinner with Toni…”  
She slid up onto the stool, carefully picking up the wine glass to take a sip. Then, with more hesitation, took a small bite of the tomato-covered fish on the plate. The Italian’s shoulders relaxed. She closed her eyes, allowing herself a moment to remember her ex-boyfriend. The reverie was interrupted as her cell phone pinged again. The text was from the same mystery number as before.  
 _Champagne and flan in refrigerator after the meal._  
Once again, Lovina subconsciously let a smile twitch at her lips. She considered thanking the mystery texter who had provided her with one of her favorite meals, but decided against it. It probably wasn’t a good idea anyway.  
Taking her empty plate over to the sink, she rinsed it off and swished water through the wine glass, then opened the refrigerator and pulled out a small dessert plate. The champagne sparkled, a single glass sitting on a shelf, as if waiting to be paired with the sweet Spanish dessert.  
Once she’d finished the flan, a creamy custard doused in caramel sauce, she held in a sigh. Two months ago, she might have been eating that meal with Antonio. And, knowing her ex-boyfriend, it would have been that exact meal.  
 _Leave the dishes. I’ll get them. Go ahead and get back to work._  
Shaking her head, she made her way back up two stories to her floor of the office building. At her desk, she found a small piece of hard candy sitting atop her paperwork. As she unwrapped it and popped it into her mouth, her phone pinged again.  
 _Don’t work too hard. Everyone needs relaxation time, even you._  
For the third time that hour, Lovina struggled against a smile. Whoever this mystery texter was, they were winner her over- quickly.


	2. Chapter 2

Lovina sat sucking on the candy for another hour or so before her work was interrupted by her phone pinging again.   
_Heads up- your coworkers are back. Don’t forget to not overwork yourself._  
The elevator doors slid open. Pretty much the whole office returned to their desks, including Elizaveta, who ran up to Lovina. “You missed the _best_ office outing _ever_! I can’t believe you skipped two hours of fun, Lovina!”  
Lovina shook her head, still in a good mood from her time alone. “Well, I did. And I got a lot of work done, too.”  
Elizaveta scowled playfully, ruffling her friend’s hair. “You’re awfully pleasant. What happened?”  
Before Lovina could decide whether or not she wanted to spill details about the mystery texter, another message popped up on the screen of her cell.  
 _By the way, if anyone asks, don’t be afraid to tell them everything. They’ll probably find out soon anyway._  
For some strange reason, the anonymous text bolstered Lovina’s confidence, and she smirked mischeviously. Elizaveta tilted her head to the side, confused and curious.  
“What? Did you not eat? Tell me you ate, Lovina, it isn’t healthy not to and you-”  
“I ate, okay? Don’t worry about it.”  
“Then why do you look so guilty?”  
“I don’t look guilty! You’re such a bitch sometimes, Lizzie.”  
She simply laughed. “You know you love me. Now, what happened?”  
Lovina shrugged. “Well, almost as long as you’ve been gone, I’ve been getting texts from a number I don’t know. And based on the messages and what I ate, the texter made me lunch.”  
“Really? I wish someone would do that for me! What did they make?”  
“Bacalao con Tomate with Pinot Grix and flan with champagne for desert.”  
Elizaveta let out a sudden sqeal, a grin lighting her face. Lovina instinctively wheeled her chair as far back as possible.  
“What? Why are you smiling like that?”  
“Lovina, you have an admirer! They obviously want to be your Valentine! Text them back, now!”  
Lovina flushed. “No, I doubt it, I-”  
“Excuse me, Miss Vargas?”  
Looking relieved by the interruption, Lovina turned to the mail delivery girl who had spoken. “Yes?”  
“I’m supposed to deliver these.”  
She thrust a medium-sized package at Lovina, as well as a card and a small container of grape tomatoes. Lovina flushed slightly, muttering under her breath as Elizaveta relieved her of the package by setting it atop a stack of paperwork on Lovina’s desk.  
“Open it!”  
Instead of obeying her, Lovina popped open the small container of tomatoes, happily eating one. “Oh, Lizzie, you’ve got to try these. They’re delicious!”  
Elizaveta scowled. “Seriously? You have this present oh-so-casually delivered to you and you’re more interested in _tomatoes_?! Open the fucking present!”  
Lovina laughed, brushing hair away from her face. She set the tomatoes down. “Cool it, okay? I’m sure it can wait until after work. It’s only a Valentine’s present.”  
Elizaveta groaned, draping herself over the partition wall as if she were melting. After Lovina shot her a withering look, she straightened up. “Come on. I’m leaving in a half hour anyway. I want to know what your secret admirer got you!”  
“Then you open it. I’m working.”  
“Lovina.”  
“What?”  
“You work too much.”  
“I do not!”  
“You do too, and you know it! Lovina, I grew up with you. I know you. Ever since sometime last month or so, you’ve been real quiet and depressed and you get upset easier. And for two days now, you’ve been in a worse mood than usual. Not to mention, you refuse to abandon extra work in favor of spending time with friends, and whenever I mention Antonio, you get all tense and fussy and bitchy. I’ve pieced together enough to know that you two broke up, or fought, or _something_. You need to talk to someone, Lovina. Why cant you just tell me?” She paused, considering what she’d just said. Then, in a more gentle tone, added, “And open the present.”  
Lovina, true to Elizaveta’s statement, sat frozen in her seat, face white. After a moment, she forced herself to reach for the present. Dragging it towards herself, she slipped a finger under a crease in the wrapping and replied, though her voice was low and mumbling. She kept her eyes locked on the package.  
“I’ll open the fucking present if it makes you so goddamn happy.”  
Elizaveta sighed. “Lovina, I’m sorry, but why-”  
Lovina looked up at her suddenly, eyes flashing. “I don’t tell anyone because it’s my fucking business, and not theirs! They don’t need to know. I can run my own damn life! Now, do you want to know what this creep gave me or not?”  
“I’m getting real tired of your constant shit, Lovina. You aren’t like this.”  
Without an answer, the Italian woman carefully pulled the wrapping off the box and glanced inside. Her face hardened more, if it were possible, and she shoved the box away, pressing a hand to her mouth. Wordlessly, Elizaveta pulled the present closer so she could peer in.  
“Lovina? What’s so wrong with candies and chocolates?” Lovina shook her head, as if still trying to formulate a reaction. “Lovina?” she repeated, watching her friend anxiously.  
“You just don’t get it, do you?” Lovina managed to croak out. She paused, trembling, then replied to herself in a beseeching tone. “Of course you don’t, I never fucking told you…”  
Elizaveta’s eyes widened. She reached out a hand cautiously, not wanting to startle her distraught co-worker. “Lovina?”  
“Do you have any _fucking_ idea how _painful_ this is?”  
“No, not… not really…”  
Elizaveta grabbed Lovina’s arm and dragged her to a small break room, plopping her onto the couch. “Alright, darling, tell me everything. And I mean _everything_.”  
Lovina drew in a shuddering breath, folding her hands across her lap. After a tense moment, she sighed, trembling violently. She clenched her jaw for a moment, then spoke.  
“Antonio moved to Spain a year and a half ago. But he told me he wasn’t going to give me up. He visited every so often and we somehow managed a long-distance relationship. But then, around Thanksgiving, he stopped talking with me. At first, it wasn’t very noticeable. We’d go a day or two without contact and that was it. But I guess it gradually became over a week, and in January, he just stopped talking completely.” Lovina’s voice cracked, and she paused. “I thought at first that it was something I did, and I’d made him angry. But Toni… Toni doesn’t get angry. So I figure, hell, I didn’t have to do anything, really, to lose him. I’m a fuck up who can’t keep her life in check. Why would I be able to keep a boyfriend? I don’t know why I was stupid enough to think I could.” She sniffled, hiding her face with her hands, clearly fighting tears. “The twelfth was his birthday. We’d planned on spending a week together- this week. We decided that sometime in June, I think. I guess I was naïve enough to think that would work out when nothing else did. It fell through when he decided he wanted nothing more to do with me, I guess…”  
Elizaveta felt tears pricking at her own eyes as she watched one fall from her friend’s cheek. “Lovina… why didn’t you tell me?”  
“I didn’t tell anyone… I… I didn’t want anyone to think I was a failure.”  
“Oh, darling, why would we think that?”  
Lovina grew quiet, her voice tight, tears freely falling now. “B-because I… I can’t even hold my life together, but Feli i-is living p-perfectly. If I t-told, it’d be like w-when we were k-kids, a-and everyone would start c-comparing me with her a-again! S-she was always the p-pretty one, the talented one, a-and everyone always l-liked her- always! A-and… then there’s m-me…”  
Elizaveta felt her heart break. She reached over to take Lovina’s hand. “You’re perfect how you are, darling. So why don’t we get ourselves composed and head home? Bella’s giving me a ride. I’m sure she’d love to bring you with us. We’re going to get ready together, though if you’d like to help.”  
Lovina sniffed, wiping at her eyes to keep herself from crying more. “Get ready? For what?”  
“…A date? God, you really have been out of it.” Elizaveta laughed gently, tucking hair behind Lovina’s ear. “Roderich and I are going to a concert recital, then to dinner. And Francis is taking Bella out to a five-star restaurant. It’s really a beautiful place. Maybe your secret admirer will take you somewhere!”  
“Why?”  
“It’s Valentine’s Day.”  
“I know, but… why spend so much on one miserable night?”  
The slightly older woman sighed, shaking her head. “That idiot really broke you, didn’t he? God. I’ll kill him if he tries anything like that again.”  
Lovina huffed slightly, trying to force a smile at Elizaveta’s unique brand of reassurance. “Alright, alright. Just shut up already. I get it.”  
“Do you?”  
“I do. I caught your telepathic messages. I have to go home early and I’m not allowed to do any sort of work until tomorrow.”  
Elizaveta scowled. “Monday.”  
“What?”  
“No work until Monday. I’m not allowing you in this office tomorrow, we’re closed on the weekend, and if I catch you doing paperwork, I’ll burn it. No working until Monday, Lovina. I forbid it.”  
“Well what am I supposed to do?”  
Elizaveta raised an eyebrow, looking her in the eye. “Uh, fun? You’ve been overworking yourself for at least a month. Watch a movie, make some pizza, eat some chocolate, paint your nails, take a bubble bath. I don’t know! Just pamper yourself and have fun.”  
“But that’s all annoyingly girly.”  
“So? You’ve got chocolate, you’ve got candy. There’s nice snacks right there. You’re Italian, you can make a wonderful pizza, and I have no doubt that you’ve got some pretty good movies at home. Bubble bath as well. I’ve seen it.”  
“I don’t want the chocolates.”  
“Why not?”  
“Toni used to buy them for me. That exact kind. It was one of the only things he’d buy me regularly, even though they’re hard to find. They’re from Spain. Every time he came back, he’d bring them.”  
Elizaveta fell silent as they walked back to their desks. “Try forgetting him. At least for a couple minutes, so you can eat in peace.”  
“Yeah, like that’s gonna happen.”  
“What’ll happen?” asked Bella, bouncing up beside the pair as they gathered their things. Her short blonde hair was pulled back in a tiny bun, bag slung over one shoulder.  
Elizaveta was the one to reply. “That Lovina will forget about her former lover long enough to eat delicious chocolates that bring up memories.”  
Bella winced. “Oh, that bad? It gets better, Lovina, trust me. My first boyfriend was a complete ass, but my second… I got real upset over that breakup. Then for a while, I just ran through the guys, just looking for company. Oh, but there was one guy, I’ll spare you details, but… he wrecked me. Then I met Francis! See, gets better.”  
Lovina ignored them, shaking her head. She shoved her things into a briefcase, closing the box full of candies. She checked her phone, surprised to see a message waiting from her so-called ‘admirer’.  
 _I hope you like the present. I’m terribly sorry if it brings up any memories… But please, don’t throw it out. I know you love this chocolate. Or… used to._  
“Lovina? Earth to Lovina! Are you even listening to us?”  
“No, I’m not.” Gathering the box into the crook of her arm, Lovina shrugged hair off her shoulder. “Everyone ready?”  
Bella grinned. “Always. Let’s go. It’s already almost five, and Francis is picking me up at six thirty! I’ve got to look perfect.”  
Elizaveta grabbed their hands. “Then hurry your asses up!”  
As the trio stepped out of the elevator on the ground floor, they were flagged down by the secretary. She reached under her desk, pulling out a bouquet of flowers. “These were left for Miss Vargas.” Elizaveta whispered something in Bella’s ear, and both girls giggled. Lovina shot them a glare, taking the flowers with her free hand.  
“Who sent them?”  
“I don’t know, I’m sorry. It was a delivery man. He said they were anonymous.”  
“Right. Thanks anyway.”  
Lovina joined the two at the door, where Bella grinned. The three women headed out to the parking lot. “So, Lovina, what kind of flowers are they?”  
Lovina stayed silent for a moment, a small smile gracing her lips as she admired the bouquet. Even so, her eyes were filled with pain. “Red carnations. The idiot used to buy them for me. They’d appear in my apartment all the time…”  
Her two friends exchanged looks, then shrugged. Bella unlocked the car, and Lovina slid into the backseat, clutching the flowers tightly.


	3. Chapter 3

The ride to Lovina’s apartment building was loud. The trio sang along to the radio and still managed to hold a discussion of their plans in excited voices. By the time Lovina was dropped at the doors of her building, her mood had lifted considerably.  
“Okay Bella, alright! I got it, shut up!”  
Lovina laughed, stepping away from the open car window. She waved with her free hand, flowers and present tucked under her other arm. Shaking her head happily, she made her way up the sidewalk. Nodding her head at the doorman, she paused to talk to him.  
“Good evening, Miss Vargas.”  
“Ciao, Lee. How was your day?”  
“Pleasant. Better than usual. Your sister stopped by. She said she wanted to take care of something for you, so I let her in.”  
“Alright. Buonanotte, Lee.”  
He tipped his hat to her, watching as she stepped into the elevator across the lobby. The young woman pressed the button for her floor, then began rummaging through her briefcase’s front pocket for the key to her apartment. When the doors dinged, she sighed, shaking hair out of her eyes.  
A blue sticky note was stuck to her door, just under the peephole. Lovina ripped it off with the hand she held the key in, skimming over it.  
 _Ciao, sorella! I know you forget to eat a lot, so I stopped by to make your dinner! I let myself in again, but don’t worry, I cleaned up after myself and locked the door. You’ll never guess what happened today! Remind me to tell you tomorrow, Luddy and I are going out tonight. Oh, I almost forgot! Buon San Valentino, sorella! Silly me, going and forgetting that. I’ve got to go now, but your meal should still be warm when you get home. I left it on the stove, but it won’t burn. Nonno taught me his secret. Oh, but I really need to go now, Luddy’s calling! Don’t forget to eat, ‘cause I made you good food! Love you, sorella! Felicia <3_  
Lovina sighed. “Damn spastic sister. Can’t even write a note like a normal person.” She unlocked the door and stepped inside, eyes widening as she was greeted by soft music and the smell of spaghetti. Well, at least it was spaghetti. As good as she was with any type of pasta, spaghetti was Felica’s specialty. No one made spaghetti like Felicia.   
Lovina slid off her shoes and stepped into the kitchen, letting her bag fall to the floor as she set the box on the counter. The flowers ruffled against the cellophane wrapping as she reached into a cupboard to pull out a vase for them. Her pantyhose slid across the vinyl floor whenever she took a step toward the sink, filling the vase with water. Her cell phone pinged out a text message alert.  
 _I know you probably don’t want to hear it, and I’m very out of place in saying it, but… I’m sorry. You must know that…_  
A frown spread across Lovina’s face as she read the message. The number was still foreign to her, but she realized with a jolt that she’d become attached to the mystery texter. In four and a half hours, she’d come to feel close to them. And yet, she still hadn’t worked up the courage to answer them. After a moment of indecision, Lovina clicked the reply button.  
 _What have you got to be sorry for? You made today worth suffering through. Thank you._  
While waiting for an answer, Lovina served herself a plate of spaghetti and a bit of red wine from the cabinet. A nice, familiar meal. The phone pinged.  
 _You’re welcome. I only want to see you happy._  
She felt her heart melt, just a bit. Reminding herself firmly that Antonio used to say the same thing, she forced herself to scowl.  
 _You didn’t answer my question._  
 _I can’t. You’ll hate me._  
 _Why? You haven’t given me reason to hate you._  
The conversation carried on throughout Lovina’s meal, often switching topics. By the time she’d washed her dishes, taken care of the leftover spaghetti, and gone to change into more comfortable clothes, it was nearly seven thirty. She’d affectionately dubbed the mystery texter ‘Cucciolo’, or ‘puppy’.  
 _Alright, Cucciolo, you’ve kept me distracted long enough. Why won’t you tell me anything about yourself?_  
 _Wait, why am I a puppy?_  
 _You act like one. Since when do you speak Italian?  
I learned it in highschool.  
Fair enough. Now back to my question. You never talk about yourself. Why?  
I’m nothing special. You, however, are the sunshine of my life. I need you._  
Lovina nearly dropped her cellphone into the bathroom sink at that. She stared at the mirror for a moment, trying to catch up with her thoughts.  
“I won’t reply,” she told her reflection, “I won’t. Because if this turns out to be a prank, I’ll have believed it. And that… that’s just fucking stupid.”  
Nodding firmly at the reflection, she picked up a hairbrush instead of her phone. After her auburn waves decided to go against her will and become frizzy, she pulled them back into a messy bun. The phone buzzed.  
 _I’ve upset you, haven’t it?_  
 _No. I’m a grown-ass woman. I’m not fucking upset, I just remembered that I don’t need anyone else in my life._  
The phone stayed silent for a good two minutes before Lovina took the initiative to smirk at it. “Take that, bastard.”  
She congratulated herself inwardly and pulled on an old, grey sweatshirt. During the process of walking back to the kitchen, Lovina felt a sudden pang of loss. The sweatshirt was Antonio’s: she’d stolen it just before he left for Spain the last time he visited. That had been June- nearly eight months ago. When they were still happy. Long before the road ended in a cliff.  
The young woman sighed, mentally kicking herself for remembering him. Son of a bitch deserved to be forgotten, the way he broke up with her. She grabbed one of the bags of chocolate from the box and ripped it open. While she popped one into her mouth, she scowled at the clock.  
“Great. Fucking fantastic. Seven forty-five on Valentine’s Day, and I’m wearing pajamas and eating chocolate alone in my kitchen.”  
Her phone buzzed loudly from the bathroom. She jumped in surprise and nearly dropped the chocolate. Cussing under her breath for flinching, she jogged to the bathroom and snatched the small device off the counter.  
 _I’m twenty-five years old, as of very recently. My favorite color is green, but red sometimes beats it. I love tomatoes- they’re the best food ever. I lived in Spain until I was five, then moved here. Other than English, I speak Spanish, French, Italian, and German. And if it counts, I speak Pig Latin. My girlfriend always said I was an idiot and an airhead, but I centered my life around her. I wish I could spend today with her, but she won’t allow it._  
Lovina let out a shocked noise, fingers flying over the keypad as she answered.  
 _You have a fucking GIRLFRIEND?! Why the fucking hell are you doing all this for me if you’re already in a fucking relationship? You’re a dick! Che cazzo!  
No, no, no! Wait! Please don’t judge me! I don’t have a girlfriend! Not anymore. I worded that wrong. We broke up. Sometime around a month ago, I think. It’s really painful. I made stupid decisions and let other things crowd her from my mind. I’m afraid she hates me now, but I still love her.  
Fuck you. I honestly don’t blame her. You’re a pig. If you love her so damn much, then why the hell are you talking to me?  
Because I love you.  
I thought you loved your fucking ex.  
I do.  
But you love me.  
Yes.  
You make absolutely no sense at all!  
I can’t explain like this! I have to do this in person._  
Before Lovina could send another reply, there was a knock on her door. Still standing in the bathroom, she froze for a moment.  
 _You’d better fucking not be at my door.  
What if I am?  
You’re a stalker and really fucking creepy and I’ll slit your throat.  
You’ll have to let me in first.  
If you want to see me so damn badly, let yourself in, fucker.  
Fine._  
Lovina dropped her phone with a clatter when she heard the sound of a key in the lock. She caught her breath, heart hammering, and moved around the corner of the hallway, peering towards the door. The lock clicked. She pressed a hand to her mouth to stifle a gasp. The door opened, and a familiar face appeared, speaking in a familiar voice with a familiar accent.  
“…Lovi? You’re here, right?”


	4. Chapter 4

Lovina let out a shrill scream, grabbing the closest item to her- an unopened box of tampons- and chucked it toward the door. She blindly retreated into the bathroom and slammed the door, screaming incoherently.  
“Ouch! What was that for?”  
“Get the fuck out of my house! Get out!”  
Ouside the bathroom door, a muffled sort of groan was heard. “That actually really hurt. You got me just above the eye. And were those tampons?”  
Lovina stayed silent, trying to slow her breathing. She crouched against the back corner wall, drawing her pajama-clad legs close to her chest. Her eyes were wide with fear. After a few minutes, the door was knocked. She trembled slightly at the sound, trying to sort her thoughts.  
“Lovi, I’ve got your tampons… would you like them back?”  
“A-antonio?”  
“Si?”  
Lovina let out a slow breath. “You’ve got to be shitting me…”  
The voice outside the door paused. “I didn’t catch that, cariño, could you repeat it?”  
All of a sudden, Lovina lunged to her feet, flinging the door open and shoving Antonio back before he could fall in. “Fuck you! I said fuck you, god dammit!”  
The tall man in the hallway stumbled back. His emerald eyes blinked in surprise. Brunette curls bounced slightly as he took a step backwards. He’d forgotten just what a spitfire the little Italian could b. Faced with the growing rage of the love of his life, his mind short-circuited. Instead of the witty response he’d had prepared, his tongue ran without his permission, laced in a thick Spanish accent.  
“Is that my sweatshirt?”  
The anger on Lovina’s face melted into disbelief. She stared up at him with wide hazel eyes. “What?”  
“You’re wearing my sweatshirt, cariño.”  
Lovina glanced down for a moment, then back up at him. “I’m not even going to dignify that with a response. Why are you here?”  
“You invited me in. So you could slit my throat, remember?”  
“But how the hell did you get in?”  
Antonio reached under the collar of his shirt, pulling out a gold key on a thread. “I never got rid of the key. It isn’t much, but it’s really the only thing of yours I’ve had to hold onto…”  
Lovina’s gaze hardened, even as her posture slackened. Tears pricked at the corners of her eyes. “Why… why would you keep something like that?”  
Her ex-boyfriend shrugged. “Like I said, it’s one of the only things I have from you. I… I wanted something to remember you by.”  
She frowned, but it was quickly replaced by a wounded look. Wearily, she leaned against the doorway and ran a hand through her hair. “Why the key, idiot? If you’d have asked back in June, I would’ve given you something more meaningful.”  
“I know it’s really cheesy, but I used to pretend that the key didn’t just take me to your apartment, but to your heart. Besides, I kept a picture of you on my nightstand and another in my wallet. My planner for work is the turtle-print one you bought me before I left. Your picture is both the background and the screensaver on my computer. Alvarez always picked at me about how I had my room arranged- it was exactly like yours. I just… I wanted to be as close to you as I could, especially when I was so far away.”  
Lovina made a small sound, halfway between a scoff and a sob. She pressed a hand to her mouth, shaking her head. “I can’t believe it. Your idiot ass really is back.”  
“For good, cariño.”  
“Really?”  
“I’m sure of it. Other than visits back to Spain, of course. I belong here. With you. If… if you’ll allow it.”  
“And if I don’t?” Lovina shoved past him, struggling to keep herself composed. Antonio followed her to the bedroom, where she began to rifle through her closet.  
“I’ll beg you. I-”  
He was cut off as a pair of slippers smacked him in the face, flowed by a small blanket.  
“Shut the hell up already!” Lovina snapped. She stood in front of him, hands planted firmly on her hips. Her hazel eyes flashed, somewhat angrily. Her hair was falling from the loose bun, accenting her distress. “What right do you have to beg me? You’re an ass. You cut off contact with me! If you hated me that fucking much, you could have just told me we were over. Do you know how damn much you hurt me? It fucking hurt. It dragged on for months. I felt like I was dying inside.” She sniffed, trying and failing to hold back tears. She flung her hands up in defeat. “Felicia noticed before I did. She and everyone else kept bugging me about it. Eventually I knew you wanted nothing more to do with me. I mean, for all I know, you found some Spanish whore and ran off with her! She’d be prettier, anyway. Less awkward and just.. better in every way possible. I’m a piece of shit, after all. I was going to take Toio and Lia back, but then I-”  
“Who?”  
Lovina paused, looking at him in a disoriented fashion. “What?”  
“Believe me, I’ve much to say on everything else, but first.. who are Toio and Lia?”  
“Oh.”  
Lovina scuffed her foot on the floor, wiping at her tears. She cast a furtive look toward her bed. Following her gaze, Antonio caught sight of a large fishtank that seemed to have been remodeled for something other than fish. A small movement made him look toward the corner of the tank. He caught his breath and walked over. Lovina trailed behind, frowning at the floor.  
“Serbatoio and Conchiglia are my turtles.”  
A small smile came across Antonio’s stressed features. He reached into the tank, lightly brushing a finger against one of the tiny shells.  
“I thought you hated turtles.”  
“I do.”  
“So why do you have two? Not to mention, two adorable babies!”  
Lovina flushed a pale pink, despite her distress. “They were going to be your birthday present. I got them in January. I almost took them back when I realized that you’re a major sack of shit. But I couldn’t do it. Especially not to Toio. The little devil is kinda cute…”  
After a moment, Antonio straightened up and turned to face her. “I might be a sack of shit, Lovina, but you aren’t. I really wish you would stop comparing yourself to people. You’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen, no matter where I go. I can’t find anyone to compare. You are perfection, uttermost perfection, and what I did was wrong. I never should have-”  
Realizing where he was taking the conversation, Lovina cut him off. She backed up, shaking her head. “I don’t want to hear it. You’re a son of a bitch and I don’t want to listen to it. I don’t want to have to see you anymore. You’re an ass. I really just don’t care if you meant to or not. It hurt. It fucking hurt. And we aren’t together anymore. We won’t be. Not after the hell I was dragged though. So just… give me the key and get out.”  
A wounded look came across Antonio’s face as he looked down at Lovina. “Lovi, please, just listen to me for a moment!”  
“No! A-and don’t call me that! No one calls me Lovi, damn it, my name is Lovina!”  
Antonio studied her pained face, looking hurt. With a heart heavy as lead, he pulled the key over his head. For the first time in over a year, he didn’t wear it hung around his neck. The Spaniard clutched the key in his hand, swallowed to hide the tightness in his throat, and nodded.  
“Alright. Okay, Lovi… Lovina… I understand.”  
He took her small hand and pressed the key into it. With his other hand, he reached up and brushed hair behind her ear. She flinched away from his touch, eyes sparkling with growing tears.  
“Go,” she whispered, voice strained, “Get out. Just go. Please.”  
With one last look into her tear-filled eyes, he left. Standing in the bedroom, Lovina listened to his footsteps making their way through the apartment. The door opening. The door closing. Trembling, Lovina sank to the floor. She let out an involuntary whimper, thumping her head back against the wall. Her body suddenly registered that her heart had been ripped to shreds. She let out a scream, curling into a ball and sobbing herself to sleep.


	5. Chapter 5

Morning came with a blaring alarm clock and an obnoxiously ringing cell phone. In the bedroom, Lovina let out a groan and sat up slowly. With a loud thump, she hit her head on the nightstand beside her bed. She yelped and stumbled to the bathroom to grab her phone from the floor. Half awake, she returned to the bedroom and slapped at the alarm clock until it stopped screeching at her. Without trying to see what time it was, Lovina flopped backward onto the bed.  
When she woke again three hours later, the sun was streaming through the window, lighting the room to an uncomfortable brightness. She let out a groan, sitting up. Her face was dry, but bore prominent tear tracks from the night before. She yawned, wincing as she stretched. Apparently sleeping on the floor of the bedroom had not been the best of ideas. Her cell beeped from the nightstand, reminding her of missed calls and awaiting text messages. She sighed and dragged a hand across her face while opening the message from Elizaveta.  
 _No working. If you come to the office, I’m locking out. And if I find any files edited on your computer tonight, I’ll delete them. Today is your fun day._  
Lovina groaned and flopped back onto her pillows. “Well, shit. What the hell am I supposed to do now?”  
She sad up again slowly, looking around the room. Her spare key glinted at her from the floor beside her dresser. She felt her throat tighten as she recalled the night before. Mentally chastising herself, she swung her legs over the side of the bed. The young Italian woman pushed hair back from her face, letting her breath out in a huff. She stalked to the bathroom, mumbling to herself in Italian as she started water for a shower.  
After a long while, when Lovina was finally beginning to calm herself, there was a knock at the door. She cussed and turned off the water, grabbing a towel and rubbing it through her hair. “Just a minute!” She wrapped the towel around herself, ignoring the fact that she was, actually, still dripping as she padded barefoot down the hall to open the door.  
“Yes?”  
“Lovina, please listen, I’m-”  
She slammed the door in his face. “I’m not in the mood, shithead.”  
Out in the hallway, Antonio shuffled his feet sheepishly. “Open the door, cariño, please.”  
“Shut it, skippy.”  
“I have your mail.”  
After a moment, the door opened again. Lovina stood there, looking annoyed as her hair dripped water down her back. One hand holding her towel in place and the other held out, she fixed him with a glare. “Give me my mail.”  
“Listen to me first.”  
“Antonio, I just got out of the shower. I am dripping water all over my apartment and I am wearing a towel. It’s not the time and I don’t want to talk. I’m not reliving last night any longer than I already have. Give me my mail and go away.”  
Antonio took a step back, looking down at the floor before back up at Lovina. His expression was pained, eyes listless. “Please, Lovina, I need you.”  
“Well, I don’t need you,” she shot back. Her voice quieted suddenly and her eyes suddenly lost some of their fire, but she repeated herself. “I don’t.”  
The Spaniard’s breath slowed, unsteady. He handed her the small stack of envelopes- she didn’t dare look in his eyes. Without a word, he turned and headed down the hall. Lovina clutched her towel tighter, wincing when she heard the elevator doors. By the time she stepped into the hall to call after him, the doors had closed and he was gone. She mentally kicked herself before retreating into her apartment again. As she passed the kitchen, she tossed the small stack of mail onto the table.  
In the bedroom, the small auburn woman leaned against the wall and studied what she surrounded herself with. Suddenly it was no wonder to her why she had spent two weeks sleeping on the couch. Everything in the bedroom had ties to Antonio. The sheets were green- he’d picked them out; he’d bought the stuffed animals; the pictures were of him, mostly; the curtains were a Christmas present from his mother; the turtles in the corner were his birthday present.  
“So if I really wanted to forget him, I would have gotten rid of everything.”  
Lovina sighed, finally removing her towel and finishing her drying process. She strode to her dresser, pulling out random pieces of clothing. Half an hour later, she was wearing a pair of tight jeans and another of Antonio’s sweatshirts. Her hair was pulled back into a high ponytail. She picked up her phone and pulled up her inbox, licking her lips before sending a message. Afterward, she jogged through her apartment and out the door, taking the stairs instead of the elevator. She waved to Lee as she passed through the main doors, now dialing and pressing the phone to her ear.  
 _“You’d better not be on your way to work right now.”_  
“I’m not, Lizzie. I just need to talk to you.”  
 _“In that case, I’m all ears. What’s up?”_  
Lovina paused, glancing both ways before jogging across the street. “Antonio’s back.” The other side of the line fell silent. “Elizaveta? You’re still there, right?”  
 _“I’m here. You mean he’s back back? Like… for good?”_  
“I don’t really know. That’s what he said. He was the one texting me yesterday and sending all the presents.”  
 _“I kinda thought he might be until you told me you broke up. A little bit afterward, too, but I didn’t really think it was a good idea to tell you. You hurt enough already yesterday.”_  
“Well apparently not,” Lovina quipped, checking her reflection in a store window. She crossed Lincoln street and mentally counted how much further she had to go. Three blocks ahead and two blocks right. “He showed up at my apartment last night, wanting me to listen to his shit.”  
 _“Did you?”_  
“No.”  
 _“Why not?”_  
“I don’t know. I guess I just wasn’t in the mood last night. But I have no excuse for this morning. He stopped in again and I slammed the door in his face.”  
Elizaveta’s laugh trickled through the tiny speaker. _“God. So are you going to see him again?”_  
“No idea. I told him I didn’t need him earlier. Hell, I think that’s the biggest lie I’ve ever told anyone. Except maybe that time when I was ten and I accidentally killed Felicia’s fish. But that wasn’t my fault, I mean, she should have known better than to leave for a week and let me take care of it. In any case, I lied and I don’t really know how to fix it.”  
Elizaveta paused on her side of the conversation. _“So what are you going to do?”_  
Lovina glanced up at a billboard as she crossed another street and shrugged. “Talk to Feli. She doesn’t know yet but she should. And I figure, sure, she gives good advice sometimes.”  
 _“So you’re actually going to her for help?”_  
“I guess, yeah.”  
 _“Holy shit! Are you sick, babygirl? You don’t ask for help. Ever.”_  
“I’m fine. Just feel like I kicked a puppy. Like I divorced Toni or something. Hell, we weren’t even married, I don’t get it.”  
 _“You wanna meet me for lunch somewhere and we can talk? I mean, Bella already told me she can’t make it tonight, so it would be just the two of us. Unless you wanted to be alone, in which case I’ll just see what Roderich’s up to.”_  
“No. I’m not far from Gepetto’s right now. I’ll just eat while I’m talking to Feli. I’ll let you know about the alone thing, depending on how today pans out. I uhm…. I’m going to try and talk to him.”  
 _“Really? Are you sure? I mean, you still get upset over the mention of his name. Knowing you, I’m sure you broke down after he left last night. Maybe even this morning. You’re sure you want to see him face to face again, even after what you said?”_  
Lovina clenched her jaw and sighed. “No. But I was a bitch and I need to let him tell gis side of the story before I burn everything he’s ever bought me.”  
A sad laugh drifted through the speaker. _“Tell me how it goes, alright? I’ve got to get back to work now.”_  
“Yeah. Yeah, sure. I’ll call when I can. Bye, Lizzie.”  
 _“See ya!”_  
The connection clicked off. Lovina sighed again and slipped the phone into her sweatshirt pocket. She bit her lip, staring at the sign for the diner that her sister worked at. After a long moment of hesitation, she pushed the door open. A jingling bell signaled her arrival and a young man poked his head out of the kitchen. “Hey, Lovina! Want me to fetch Felica for you?”  
She nods, giving him a dry smile, and goes to sit in a booth near the other end of the diner. After a few minutes of her staring out the window and absentmindedly tapping her fingers on the table, a happy shout drew her out of her thoughts.  
“Sorella!”  
Lovina looked up as her twin approached. For the first time in a long time, a genuine smile invaded her lips at the sight of her sister’s bouncing optimism. She stood, letting Felicia hug her.  
“Hey, Feli.”  
Felicia sat down in the booth, completely ignoring the fact that she should probably be working. “It’s been a long time since you came to visit me during work, sorella. Did you eat last night?”  
Lovina struggled not to roll her eyes, sliding back into her own side of the booth. “I did, Feli. And it was delicious, grazie.”  
Felicia gave her a mega-watt smile, shrugging. “It was my pleasure. I love cooking for you, Lovina. So what brings you back to Gepetto’s?”  
“I want to talk to you.”  
Felicia’s smile faltered ever so slightly. “You don’t like talking to me.”  
Lovina huffed and actually did roll her eyes. “Not always, sorella, no. But I’ve been keeping something from you for a long time and you really deserve to know.”  
As if sensing the news was not good, Felica lost her smile and reached across the table to take Lovina’s hand. “What is it? Are you sick? Did you lose something?”  
“No, Feli, not… not exactly. I… uh…. Antonio and I broke up.”  
Felicia didn’t answer for a long moment, as if she were processing the fact that after six years, her sister was not dating Antonio. She blinked, raising her eyebrows. “Wow. When did that happen, sorella?”  
“January. Kind of. We just stopped talking. Neither of us really knows how or when it happened.”  
When Felicia gave her hand a reassuring squeeze, Lovina was suddenly fighting tears. She proceeded to spill every small detail of the previous months to her sister, half choked and struggling not to completely break down. The moment Lovina finished her story, Felicia slid out of her side of the booth and scooted up close to her sister, pulling her into a tight hug.  
“I still love you, Lovina, no matter who you love or what you say or what you do. I love you and Nonno loves you and Marcella loves you and Elizaveta and Bella and everyone. Even Ludwig loves you, as much as you two argue. So what you’re going to do today is you’re going to be a strong woman and you’re going to talk to Toni and you’re going to fix things. And if you decide you can’t or you don’t want to, you’re going to come talk to me again and we’re going to make things better. Got that, sorella?”  
Lovina sniffled, wiping her face dry and nodding. “Grazie, Felicia.” She opened her mouth to speak again, but suddenly noticed a glint on her sister’s hand. “Oh my fucking god.”  
Felicia pulled back slightly, confused. “What?”  
“My fucking god, Feli! The potato freak proposed to you?”  
A sudden flush spread over Felicia’s cheeks. “Oh… si… Si, I was going to tell you, but I kinda forgot, but um… it was last night.”  
Lovina huffed indignantly. “I’ve got to have words with him, he didn’t even offer me a dowry.”  
Felicia laughed, shoving her sister’s shoulder lightly. “Stop that, sorella, he talked to Nonno. And he was going to ask you over for dinner with us tomorrow. But right now, you’ve got to get going. You’ll be late to talk with Toni!”  
Lovina held her breath for a moment and nodded, hugging Felicia once more. “Thank you, Feli. I mean it. Sometimes you aren’t so bad to have around.”  
Felicia smiled, practically dragging her to the door and pushing her out. “I love you, Lovina, but I’m not the one you have a date with, so get going!”  
In a sudden surge of childishness, Lovina stuck out her tongue before turning and running down the street, trying not to laugh. It had been a while since she felt so relaxed after a conversation with her sister, much less a conversation about something she usually guarded so closely. She reached up to brush her fingers across the necklace lying on her collarbone and bit her lip.  
She pulled out her phone to check for messages and struggled to keep her good mood as she saw the sender of the waiting text. After a moment of brief panic, however, she opened it and a nervous smile crossed her lips.  
 _12:10 @ Crossroads?_  
It took her a long moment to reply, due to shaking fingers, but she managed to type a reply. _Bet you I can beat you there.  
No you can’t_, the reply said, surprisingly lighthearted. _I always get there first.  
Do not!  
Do too.  
Not this time.  
Winner buys, then?  
You’re on, asshole._  
And for a moment, things felt almost normal again.


	6. Chapter 6

Crossroads was a small coffee shop/bookstore hybrid hidden close to the edge of town. It was the place Antonio had taken Lovina for their first date in their junior year of high school. In fact, much of their relationship had been spent there.  
Just before entering, Lovina fixed her hair and silently composed herself. As she walked in, she scanned for Antonio and smirked when she didn’t see him. The moment she turned to find a table, however, she caught sight of him. With a jolt of anxiety, she realized it he was sitting at the same table they had always sat at together. She took a deep breath and weaved her way over to the small table.  
“Alright, tomato bastard, what am I buying you?”  
He looked up with the ghost of a smile on his lips. Mostly, though, he just looked sad. “I already ordered and paid for the both of us, Lovina.”  
Lovina flinched at the exhaustion in his tone. There was no true emotion there- not even sadness- just a quiet tiredness. She sat slowly, regretting her decision to come. Antonio hardly looked like himself. There was no bubbly cheerfulness in him, not anymore.  
“But I lost the bet,” she muttered, staring at the table. There was a scorch mark and a few dark rings on the wood. “I’m supposed to pay.”  
“That’s what you’re worried about?”  
She flinched again, struggling not to raise a defense. Shutting him out- again- would only serve to make things worse than they already were. “Antonio, I…”  
“Why are we here?” Antonio’s eyes were pained, and Lovina knew it was her fault. “You said it last night and again this morning. You don’t care, you don’t want to listen, you don’t want to be called Lovi, and you don’t need me. So why even tell me you want to talk? Is it so you can tell me more how much I hurt you?”  
“No, that’s not… No, Toni.”  
“I never wanted to hurt you. I made mistakes, I did, but I tried so hard to make it better. I’m still trying. And, you know, I don’t think you really even want to be here right now. You want to run and to hide and forget me. You don’t really want me back, not now. Right now you’re still angry and hurting.”  
Lovina licked her lips, opening and closing her mouth a few times. A barista placed two cups in front of them and headed back to her place behind the counter. Antonio ignored the coffee in favor of playing with a sugar packet absentmindedly. It took a long time for Lovina to finally answer, and when she did, she was practically wringing her hands.  
“Antonio, I’m sorry. I… I want to listen, and… I… I really do need you.”  
His green eyes flicker up to meet hers, a spark of hope lighting them. After a moment, he sat back, struggling not to laugh.  
“You’re going to listen. You, cariño?”   
Lovina huffed, tossing a napkin at his face. “Hush. I’m attempting to be sweet, asshole.”  
“It’s endearing, but if I remember correctly, you aren’t very sweet. Which means you don’t really want to listen to my side of the story, and like I said, you don’t know if you really actually still want me.”  
He raised an eyebrow at her and smiled sadly, reaching for his coffee. Lovina fell silent, unable to come up with an answer. Finally, she stuck out her tongue.  
“Shut up. You’re ruining my apology. No, I don’t really care about what happened. But I was a bitch about it and I’m sorry and I’m trying to fix things.”  
She glanced away, flushing, as Antonio sighed softly. He licked his lips, leaning forward in his chair again. He was smiling, but it was pained and sad. His eyes were tired, and even his voice didn’t sound happy enough to be him.  
“I accept your apology, cariño. And I’m all for fixing things.” He paused, a more pained tone entering his voice. “But I think, for the moment, it’s better if we both think about what we really want. I’m not trapping you with someone you don’t actually think is the best thing for you.”  
Lovina looked at the table, practically feeling all hope she’d had catch fire and disintegrate. Antonio reached over to take her hand. He smoothed his thumb over her palm, then pressed a kiss to it.  
“I have to go, Lovina. But please, just… think. Really think. Don’t take me out of pity.”  
She nodded and he left quietly. It was another forty minutes before she found the will to move. She left the now cold coffee and a five dollar bill on the table before stepping out into the rain that had started not long before. The walk home seemed much longer and more depressing than the walk there. When she walked in the doors, soaked by the rain, her hair had fallen loose and her mascara had run. She ignored the greeting from Lee and trudged into the elevator, listlessly pressing the button for her floor.  
The first thing she did in her apartment was rid herself of her wet clothing. She replaced it with pajama shorts and an overlarge t-shirt, washed her face, and padded to her kitchen. Stretching on her toes, Lovina searched her liquor cabinet and pulled out a nearly empty bottle of amaretto from close to the back.  
She gave it a glare, then twisted off the top and took a swallow. Three swallows later, the bottle was empty and Lovina was coughing and wiping her mouth. “God, that’s more disgusting than it used to be.”  
She studied the bottles left in the cupboard, making a face at nearly all of it. Most was wine- hey, she was Italian- and just about everything else was only opened for cooking. “Oh, fuck it,” she finally mumbled, pulling out a bottle of rum and going to drape herself on the couch. Half an hour later, her phone rang. With a bit of reluctance, she answered.  
“Fuck do you want?”  
“Oh, charming. Having a good day, I take it?”  
“Lovely.”  
“Let me in, I’m almost to your door.”  
“It’s unlocked, Lizzie.”  
Elizaveta hung up and let her in a moment later. She strode in and collapsed onto Lovina’s feet before leaning over to take the bottle of rum and drink from it. She winced, coughing. “God. Now I remember why I never drink that straight. It’s four on a Friday. Starting early?”  
“Pleasantly buzzed, thank you very much.” Lovina licked her lips and shrugged, pulling her feet out from under her friend. “You said have fun. I don’t feel like going out. And I’m always so fucking responsible. It’s my turn to get drunk for once. My turn to get fucked up.” She made a small noise of tipsy amusement. “Getting fucked actually doesn’t sound so bad. Not after this long.”  
Elizaveta nudged her foot, taking another swig from the bottle. “So the Antonio situation’s come to a halt.”  
“A screeching train wreck of a halt. We’re taking time off to think about if getting together again is really what we want. And I mean, fuck him, of course it is. I wouldn’t have dated him for six fucking years if it wasn’t what I liked. Hell, I wouldn’t have let him come within twenty feet of me if it wasn’t. So right now, I want to get drunk and get fucked.”  
Elizaveta laughed, handing her the bottle. “Mind if I stay with you for a while?”  
Lovina practically grunted in response, pressing the bottle to her lips and tipping it back. “Fuck if I care right now. Bella’s not coming tonight, so stay if you want, but all I’m doing is having a one-woman party.”  
“I went ahead and made plans with Roderich for dinner at five. Kinda figured you’d want a one-woman party. So I’m gonna drink with you for a few minutes and then head home.”  
Lovina let out a dry laugh, handing the rum back to Elizaveta. “Welcome to the lion’s den, bitch. I got whiskey and vodka in the cupboard still. Not really planning on those until the rum’s gone, though.”  
“I can handle it, I’m sure. I’m Hungarian, babygirl.” She took one last drink from the rum, winced, then handed it back and stood. “Actually, no, I can’t tonight. I don’t think my man’ll like it too much when I show up buzzed. So you be careful on your drunken escapades, got it?”  
Lovina raised the rum in a silent salute. Elizaveta saluted back and ruffled her hair before leaving. It took three and a half more hours, three swallows of amaretto, half a bottle of rum, and four shots of whiskey before Lovina made her first drunken decision of the night. She called Antonio.  
Twenty minutes after the call, a knock at the door interrupted her impromptu karaoke session. Lovina threw open her apartment door to a very confused Antonio, saluted, and turned to saunter back into the apartment. As he closed the door behind him, Antonio realized she was wearing only a bra and panties. He sighed, suddenly registering the situation- it had happened before, a few times.  
“Lovina, how much have you had to drink today?”  
“Fuck all, Toni, fuck all.”  
“I uh... I don’t know what that means,” he replied, following her into the living room, where she poured another shot and swallowed it down. He glanced around, taking inventory of the situation. A pair of pajama shorts was flung over the back of the couch, and her favorite t-shirt hung haphazardly on a corner of the television. A nearly empty rum bottle sat on the coffee table next to a fairly full bottle of whiskey and a shot glass.  
“I drank whatever the hell I wanted, that’s what it means.”  
Antonio sighed, running a hand through his curly hair. “Alright, cariño. I feel I should know the answer to this question, but why are you half naked?”  
“It’s hot as fucking hell, that’s why. Also-” she picked up the whiskey and pointed it at him for a moment before pouring a shot. “True Italians sleep nude. I live in America, but hell, I’m almost there!”  
Antonio’s brow creased as he watched her swallow the shot. “So then why did you call me here?”  
“Fuck if I know,” Lovina muttered, waving her hands around. After a moment, Antonio walked over and caught her wrists, holding them down by her sides. She looked up and studied him with wide hazel eyes.  
“Lovina, you ca-”  
“Lovi.”  
“What?”  
“Call me Lovi, damnit.” She tugged one wrist free, wiping at her face as tears welled in her eyes. “I want my name back for fuck sakes.”  
Before he could open his mouth to reply, she pressed a gentle kiss to his lips. He pulled back ever so slightly, looking pained. She gave him a long, pleading look, and he shook his head.  
“I can’t, cariño, not when you’re like this. Have you even eaten today?”  
“God, I don’t give a shit,” she snapped, stepping back. “I’m not fucking hungry, okay? My life has gone to shit lately. Why does everyone keep stopping me from letting myself loose for one goddamn night? All I want is to drink and get fucked and not care for once. One fucking time, I want to be stupid and not give a shit.”  
Antonio bit his tongue, trying to hold back a soft sigh. “No you don’t, Lovina. I know you. That’s not what you want.”  
Her lip trembled and she held back a whimper. “I just want to feel like someone still wants me,” she whispered, voice tight.  
Watching her sniffle, Antonio felt his own eyes water. A single tear dripped down his cheek as she spoke. “I will always want you, Lovi,” he murmured, reaching up to brush his fingers across her cheek.  
She let out a choked sob, collapsing against his chest. He hid his face in her hair, feeling her tears soak through his shirt. They stood there, holding each other as they cried, until Antonio felt Lovina begin to slump in his arms. He shifted his hold on her to keep her upright. As soon as he realized she had fallen asleep, he picked her up and carefully carried her to the bedroom. He tucked her gently under her blankets and brushed hair from her sleeping face.  
Just before leaving the room, he held her hand for a moment and pressed a kiss to her forehead. “At your best and at your worst, I will always love you.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, everyone! Sorry it's taken so long to update. I've been busy all summer, and I've still got the rest of a busy summer to get through! Anyway, I wanted to say thank you for reading and sticking with this story for so long, and I'm working on chapter eight right now, so hopefully that won't take too long!

“I mean, I’m just saying.”  
Lovina pulled the bodice of her dark purple dress up, adjusting the straps as Bella finished zipping up the back. “I’m not going to talk to him, Bells. It’s been over a month and we haven’t had any contact since the night we decided to take a break. It’ll be awkward.”  
“More awkward than if you end up running into him on the street or on the subway or something?” The blonde woman gave her friend a look as the seamstress adjusted her long skirt. “All I’m saying is that you should text him. Just once.”  
Katyusha smiled from where she stood by a mirror, watching Felicia fix her hair. “I agree. But don’t do it if you don’t want to. I mean, no one likes being forced into things. Maybe he’ll be at the wedding in two weeks! You could talk to him there!”  
Felicia’s face split into a wide smile and she nodded vigorously, turning to look at her sister. “They’re right, sorella. Elizaveta did give him an invitation back in October. You could dance with him.”  
Lovina let out a groan, rolling her eyes and sitting down carefully on the white lounge. “Or we can stop talking about this and focus on the fact that Lizzie is getting married in two weeks and this is our last dress fitting.”  
“I think you should try to talk to him. I’m just saying.”  
“Well can you not just say, then?! I don’t want to fucking hear it anymore, okay? I’m sick of hearing about him! I can’t go anywhere without people talking about Antonio!”  
Felicia’s smile fell off her face. She dropped her hands to her sides, licking her lips and watching the floor. Her voice went quiet. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.”  
“None of us did,” Katyusha chimed in, wringing her hands.  
Bella shook her head from where she stood, the seamstress pulling a few pins out of her hemline. “I have a better idea. Lizzie’s bachelorette party, right? Why don’t we find you a man. Just for a night, you know. You and Katy, we’ll get you both guys and you can go have a little fun. The rest of us can go home hammered and we’ll have fun with our guys.”  
Katyusha made a face, brushing a short strand of hair behind her ear. “As great as that sounds, I don’t want to disappoint Ivan. He has to take care of little Natalia while I’m out, I have to be home for him. He’s only eighteen, I’m sure he doesn’t want to be taking care of his fourteen year old sister the entire night.”  
Bella shrugged, placing her hands on her hips and sighing. “We could still get Lovina a date. C’mon, what do you say? It’ll be fun!”  
Lovina groaned and grabbed a throw pillow to bury her face in. “You know what, fine,” she mumbled after a moment, muffled by the pillow, “but only if he’s seriously hot enough to have a one night stand with. I’m done with actual relationships.”  
Felicia giggled and flounced over, leaning over Lovina’s shoulders to lower the pillow away from her face. “We’re going over to the Lake Club, aren’t we? That’s where Bella met Francis!”  
Bella stifled a laugh, pressing a hand to her mouth. “God, they have got some really fine men that frequent there. I mean, I love Francis, I do, but damn. I’d love to just sit there and watch some of them for a while.”  
The other three women laughed, and the seamstress stood, folding up her tape measure and placing the pins back in their box. “I’ll be checking with the bride’s team now, if that’s alright. Your dress is hemmed for two inch heels.”  
Bella nodded, giving her a smile. Once she walked out of the room, Bella hopped off the podium and bustled over to the others. “Okay, girls. We’re going to the Club on Tuesday, right? And then Wednesday, Lizzie is staying at Lovina’s while Roderich and the boys are out for the bachelor party. I talked to Vash and he’s agreed not to let Gilbert and Vladmir keep Roderich out too late, so he’ll be ready bright and early for the wedding. I didn’t really think we had to worry about Ludwig. Pretty sure he’ll help Vash keep the other two in line.”  
Felicia clapped her hands together, smiling wide. “The plan is perfect! And all Lizzie knows is she’s staying with Lovina. So we’ve got to get her to go with Katyusha on Tuesday, and we’ll meet them at the park and take her to the Club.”  
Katyusha beamed and nodded. “This is all so exciting.”  
“What’s so exciting?”  
Elizaveta’s voice came from the doorway, where she wass standing in a simple white gown. The strapless dress curved up onto her chest and stopped there, hugging her form until it hit her hips, where it folded out with gentle ruffles beneath a lilac sash. The four women in the large dressing room gasped slowly, moving forward to meet her.   
“Lizzie, you look gorgeous!”  
Lovina allowed the others to compliment Elizaveta before she gave her a tentative smile. “Careful, Liz. That dress may be a little too good on you for Roddy to handle. He might faint at the altar.”  
Elizaveta laughed, swaying the skirt a bit with a wide smile. “I feel amazing, girls. And….. a little under two weeks! I am going to be a married woman in just under two weeks.”  
Bella shook her head, placing her hands on her hips. “First you, Felicia next. Pretty soon it’ll be the rest of us! It’s strange. We’ve known each other since highschool and college and now…. Gosh, now we’re all getting married.”  
A seamstress walked into the room, a tape measure looped around her neck. “Miss Elizaveta? We have the dressing bag for your gown if you’d like to come take it off, and you can take it home today. Your bridesmaids are free to take theirs as well.”  
“Thank you, Shauna, I’ll be there in a moment.”  
After the seamstress walked out, Elizaveta pulled the four women in a tight hug. “Thanks for being my bridesmaids, girls. It’s been fun.”  
Another few minutes later, Lovina and Felicia were changed back into their street clothes. They walked out of the bridal shop together, Lovina with the garment bags slung over her shoulders and Felicia carrying both their purses. They managed to get to the parking garage with little trouble, apart from Felicia nearly tripping on the curb, and Lovina carefully loaded the dresses into the backseat of her sister’s car.  
“Alright, Feli, where are we headed now?”  
The younger of the Italian twins slid into her seat, closing her door and buckling her seatbelt. “I thought we could go out for dinner.”  
“You thought? That’s a first,” Lovina mumbled, climbing into the passenger seat and leaning against the window after she closed it. “How come?”  
“Well….” Felicia trailed off, biting her lip and staring at the steering wheel. “Nonno and Marcella are in town. And since tomorrow is our birthday…. Nonno wanted to take us out. He wants us to meet them at the restaurant over on Fifth Avenue.”  
Lovina shrugged, reaching into the backseat to grab her purse and pull out her phone. “What’s the problem with it?”  
“O-oh…. Well, nothing. Nothing at all. Luddy and I went last week, they have very good food, you’ll like it. But we can stop at your apartment to drop off your dress first. And you can change if you want, wear something other than jeans and that sweatshirt.”  
“What’s wrong with my sweatshirt?”  
“Nothing, sorella,” Felicia replied easily, backing out of her parking spot. “ It’s just… Well, it’s one of Toni’s, isn’t it?”  
Lovina’s face hardened. “So what if it is? They’re comfortable, and the damn idiot never asked for them back.”  
Felicia smiled uneasily as she pressed the brake and shifted into drive. “You never told Nonno or Marcella about breaking up. They might be a little confused about the sweatshirt.”  
“Mm… good point,” the older mumbled, swiping at her phone screen for a few moments. “Swing by the apartment. You can come in, too. If I’m going to change, I’m at least going to get your advice on what to wear. You’re the one who knows the territory.”  
Felicia giggled, shaking her head. “It’s not fancy, sorella. But it will be nice to see them, won’t it? It’s been so long.”  
“It’s been four months.”  
“Almost five, we last saw them at Christmas. And that was all the way out in Chicago.”  
“I suppose seeing Marcella will be nice. I wonder how she got enough time off school to come with Nonno.”  
“Oh, she isn’t that young, Vina. She’s twenty, she could have been left behind if she wanted. I bet she isn’t even doing much in her classes anyway, it’s college and she isn’t taking finals.”  
Lovina rolled her eyes, resisting the urge to laugh. “Feli, you forget that you and I had very different college experiences.”  
Her sister smiled easily, flicking on her blinker and turning right. It didn’t take long to get to Lovina’s apartment complex, where Felicia parked and got her sister’s dress from the backseat. Lovina led them into the building, where Lee held the door open.  
“Good evening, Misses Vargas.”  
Lovina waved, a smile coming easily to her lips. Of all the people she hated in the world, it had to be an elderly doorman that she made friends with. “Ciao, Lee. Having a nice night?”  
“Same old, same old, Lovina. Excited for tomorrow?”  
Felicia shook her head with a laugh. “Sorella is never excited for our birthday, Lee. She always complains about getting old.”  
The doorman grinned, chuckling. “I’d give it another thirty or forty years, miss. Then you’ll be getting old and have a right to complain. You’ve still got your golden years ahead of you. Keep your head up, miss.”  
The Italian women laughed, waving to him once more before climbing into the elevator. Lovina pressed the button and began fumbling in her pocket for her key. “I need to sit him down one day when he’s got the day off and just talk.”  
Felicia gave her sister a soft smile, adjusting the garment bag. “I don’t understand you sometimes, Vina. He’s a very sweet old man, but you’ve gone off making friends with him instead of people our age.”  
“I like him. He reminds me of Papa. It’s nice to have a bit of Papa in my life. He died when we were so young. And poor Marcella, she doesn’t even remember him.”  
“Nonno never did like him, did he? I remember him always telling Mama that she’d run off and married a madman. But Papa was just so sweet. Sometimes I miss him more than I miss Mama. I think it’s because none of us look like Papa, but we get to see Mama all the time in each other.”  
“Don’t get all philosophical on me,” Lovina grumbled as the doors opened, “I’ll get enough of that from Marcella tonight, with her philosophy major and all. You just stick to art, okay?”  
Felicia hummed, her eyes scrunched up in silent laughter. “I do have my job at the diner, you know. I’ll stick to art if you stick to design like you used to. You were so good at it and you gave it up for a desk job at the office. You don’t even like being in Customer Service.”  
“No. But I like it a whole hell of a lot better than being unemployed.”  
“Maybe you could start designing again, as a sort of hobby, and you could sell your designs to small companies or something.”  
Lovina pushed open the door to her apartment, holding it for her sister as she pulled the key out of the lock. She closed the door, and as she passed the living room, she tossed the keys to the coffee table. “How fancy is the restaurant, exactly?”  
“You never answered my question,” Felicia muttered, taking the dress to the closet and rifling through the clothes. “It isn’t too fancy. Not for Nonno’s standards, at least. Ooooohhhh, when did you get this?”  
Lovina peeked in the doorway of her bedroom, hardly glancing at the red sweater before shrugging and walking away. “December. I was planning to wear it for a party at work, I think, and then I decided against going. It was overrated, anyway.”  
Felicia held it up against her chest, raising her voice instead of following Lovina around the apartment. “It’s pretty. The dark red will go really good with your hair. Do you have dress pants or pumps to go with it?”  
In the kitchen, Lovina made a small, horrified choking noise. “Ew, no! Sorella, have I taught you nothing? Black pencil skirt, yes. Get the black nylons, as well, but the red pumps. That sweater is highly selective, you have to pair it right or it’ll turn on you.”  
“I’m not wearing it, you are.”  
“Then I’m definitely going with my option, not yours.”  
“This is why you need to get back into design,” Felicia laughed, “your fashion sense overrides your practicality sometimes.”  
“Yeah, sure. Whatever, little sister.”  
“Only by two minutes, Vina, you’ve really got to stop lording it over me.”  
“No.”  
Lovina strode back into the bedroom with her arms crossed, a small glass of water in one hand. She flipped her hair over her shoulder, taking a drink before talking. “What are you wearing?”  
Felicia shrugged, moving away from the turtle tank. “I didn’t really think about it. I’m already wearing a dress. I guess Nonno will be okay with it.”  
Her older sister raised an eyebrow and shook her head. “Nonno, sure, because you’re the prize child. Me, no way. I’ll get you a sweater and a different pair of shoes. Your hair is fine, though.”  
Felicia gave her a wide smile, resisting the urge to run across the room and hug her. “Grazie! I’ll bring them back the day after tomorrow, I promise!”  
“I don’t care when you bring them back, just wear them,” Lovina muttered, tossing a white sweater at her sister. “And get out of my room so I can change. I’ll bring the shoes out when I’m done.”  
“Alright, alright, I’ll be in the kitchen when you’re done.”  
Felicia gave her a wink and bounced out of the room and down the hall. Lovina struggled not to roll her eyes, but wiggled her way out of her jeans and sweatshirt. She swapped her sports bra for one that was lacy and strapless before pulling on the red cashmere sweater. She pulled her hair out of the back of it and sat down on the bed to worm her legs into the black pantyhose. Once her feet were both covered comfortably, the Italian woman stood again and pulled the thin material up, stretching it over her legs and up to her hips, where the tight waistband held it in place under her sweater and under the waist of the pencil skirt she tugged up around her hips afterwards. She slipped out of her bedroom with her shoes in one hand and clutch purse in the other.   
Before going to the kitchen to fetch Felicia, she paused in the bathroom to pull her curls into an acceptable position and apply lipstick. As she padded down the hallway, her sister’s voice wafted out of the kitchen towards her.  
“Sì, nonno. Stiamo lasciando presto, lo prometto. Lovina si sta vestendo, saremo sulla nostra strada in un attimo. No, non ci vorrà molto per raggiungere il ristorante. Sì, nonno. Glielo dirò. Sì. Ti amo anch'io. Ci vediamo presto. Arrivederci.”  
Lovina paused in the doorway, biting the inside of her cheek and rubbing her right foot along the back of her left leg. “Is he upset?”  
Felicia startled and nearly dropped her cell phone before she could put it back in her purse. She gave a nervous laugh. “No, no, of course not, sorella. Just anxious. You know how he is.”  
“He’s fucking stubborn, that’s what he is.”  
“Oh, Vina, don’t say such things,” Felicia sighs, pressing a hand to her chest. “We should go, though. I’ll drive.”  
Lovina bent to place her shoes on the floor, eyeing her twin sister as she did so. “He was speaking Italian.”  
“Yes,” Felicia answered, rather dismissively, as she pulled her sister’s white sweater over her shoulders, “it is his first language.”  
“He speaks English fine,” Lovina muttered, straightening back up and slipping her feet into the pumps, adding about three inches to her height. “He doesn’t speak Italian much anymore unless he’s angry.”  
“Sorella, you’re being ridiculous, and that’s my job, so you’d better cut it out. He’s not angry, he’s not upset. He just wants to spend time as a family on our birthday. So come on, let’s go. And please don’t lose your temper with him. Marcella is there with him, and you know how upset it makes her when you argue with Nonno.”  
Lovina sighed, leading the way out of her apartment and locking the door behind them. She never replied to Felicia, but as they stood in the elevator, she tangled their fingers together and muttered a quiet ‘happy birthday, sorella’.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sì, nonno. Stiamo lasciando presto, lo prometto. Lovina si sta vestendo, saremo sulla nostra strada in un attimo. No, non ci vorrà molto per raggiungere il ristorante. Sì, nonno. Glielo dirò. Sì. Ti amo anch'io. Ci vediamo presto. Arrivederci.  
> (The translation to this is as follows:  
> Yes, grandfather. We are leaving soon, I promise. Lovina is getting dressed, we'll be on our way in just a moment. No, it won't take us long to get to the restaurant. Yes, grandfather. I'll tell her. Yes. I love you too. I'll see you soon. Goodbye.)


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is a bit of Italian spoken in this chapter(Grandpa Rome is a persistent old man) so please see the end of the chapter for translations!

The streets were dark with rainwater, small streams running between the cracks in the sidewalk. Lovina and Felicia ran from beneath the cover of the parking ramp across the road to the restaurant, its awning dripping fat drops of water at the corners as the rain continued to pound down. The door was opened for them by a young man with blonde hair, and a young woman asked if they had a reservation.  
“I believe so,” Felicia gushed, brushing a strand of wet hair behind her ear, “We’re meeting our sister and grandfather. He would have put us under Vargas?”  
The hostess checked her books and smiled, picking up two menus. “Right this way, ladies. Your family has already arrived.”  
The Italian twins followed the young woman through the quiet restaurant to a round table where Marcella and Augustus were seated. The hostess placed the menus in front of the two empty seats and left them as the two Italians stood. Augustus gathered Felicia into a bone-crushing hug as Lovina and Marcella embraced.  
“Miei cari, it’s good to see you,” the old man murmured, kissing the cheeks of his granddaughters and motioning for Lovina to hug him. She did so, somewhat more reluctantly than her sister. As Felicia sat beside Marcella, Lovina took the place beside her grandfather. He took her hand and gave her a gentle smile.  
“My child, it has been too long.”  
“Si, Nonno. You look well.”  
“As do you. That sweater compliments your beautiful face, Lovina. “  
She smiled, cheeks flushing ever so slightly. She squeezed her grandfather’s hand before letting it go in favor of sipping her water and turning to her sister.”Marcella, sorella, how are you?”  
“I’m very good, sister, and I have good news!”  
Felicia gasped, somehow able to catch on faster than Lovina. “A boy! There’s a boy, isn’t there?”  
The younger sister dipped her head, giggling. “Yes, Feli. Do you remember my friend Paul, who was over for an hour on Christmas?”  
Lovina’s eyes widened and she stared openly. “No… you’re dating Paul?!”  
“Si! Si, just last week. Vina, I think this is the happiest I’ve ever been, Paul is so wonderful.”  
Before anything else could be said, a waiter came over with a pitcher of water and a small wine menu. He cleared his throat before speaking and held out the wine menu to Augustus. “May I interest you in- ….. Mr. Vargas?”  
Augustus glanced up and immediately smiled, taking the menu. “Antonio! My dear boy, how have you been? I didn’t know you were back from Spain.”  
Lovina kept her eyes fixed on the table, focusing all her energy on keeping her hands from shaking as Antonio answered.  
“It hasn’t been long, sir, only about a month. But I am good, thank you for asking. You are in good health?”  
Augustus laughed, hardly scanning the wine list. “I am an old man, Antonio, but I’m holding in there well if I do say so myself. We’ll just have a bottle of whatever you recommend. And perhaps a sparkling juice for Marcella?”  
Antonio took the small menu back, pouring a bit more water into their glasses and brushing a hand against Lovina’s shoulder before nodding to Augustus and leaving. As Augustus sipped his water, Felicia cast a nervous glance at her twin.  
“Lovina, my dear, why didn’t you mention that Antonio was back?”  
Lovina swallowed thickly. She pursed her lips, breathing deeply for a moment. “I… w-well, I suppose I didn’t think it was worth mentioning, Nonno.”  
A flicker of confusion passed over Augustus’s face, and Marcella gave Felicia a concerned look. “Not worth mentioning? Lovina, this boy has been in our lives since you were six years old. How on earth is he not worth a mention? And besides, you’ve been dating him for what, seven years?”  
“Six,” she muttered, hands trembling, “and… we aren’t dating. We…”  
“You what, Lovina? Speak up, you know how I feel about muttering.”  
“They broke up, Nonno. Please don’t speak of it.” Felicia butted into the conversation, reaching beneath the table to brush a hand against Lovina’s knee in a gesture of comfort. Augustus frowned, turning to Lovina.  
“Is this true?”  
“…. Yes.”  
“Was it him or you that hurt the other?”  
“Both, Nonno. Please… please stop asking.”  
The table fell silent, and the tension was heavy on the air. Antonio returned with a glass of juice and a bottle of wine, setting the juice in front of Marcella and pouring the wine into the other three glasses. His green eyes scanned the situation and settled on Lovina. No words were exchanged, but her eyes flicked up to meet his for a split second before returning to the table.  
“Well, sir, are you and your lovely granddaughters ready to order?”  
Augustus was quiet for a moment, his eyes narrowed slightly as he watched Antonio. After what seemed like an eternity, he sighed and nodded. “Felicia. Ordine per me, per favore.”  
Felicia seemed to startle slightly, but nodded quickly. “Si. Ah, Antonio, Nonno and I would both like the Bistecca Fiorentina.”  
Antonio nodded, writing it down quickly before looking to Marcella, who asked for the Soppressata. Lovina very quietly ordered Minestrone without removing her gaze from the tablecloth. Antonio scribbled quickly, nodding, and took a step back. “I’ll get it to you as soon as it is ready. Just wave me over if you need more wine, si?”  
The rest of the evening passed slowly, the awkward tension refusing to fade even as the conversation shifted to plans for Felicia’s wedding. As the meal ended and Antonio came to collect their plates, Augustus very pointedly ignored him. After the check was paid, the family stood, and Felicia was the only one to return the small wave that Antonio gave them from a few tables away. The moment they stepped outside, Lovina whirled to face her grandfather.  
“What the hell was that?”  
“Non ho voglia di parlare con quell ragazzo.”  
Lovina let out a frustrated groan, throwing her hands up in the air and switching to Italian. “Perché diavolo non? So che si parla solo italiano come questo quando sei arrabbiato. Quello che è successo lì dentro?”  
“Sembri tua madre maledetto, Lovina. Non voglio trattare qualcuno che ti ha fatto male come in famiglia. Tua madre ha fatto quell’errore e mi rifiuto di lasciare che accada di nuovo. Non voglio che tu a parlare di quell ragazzo sia.”  
“Che cosa? Stai andando a cercare di controllare anche me?” Before Augustus could say another word, Lovina dug a set of keys out of her purse and tossed them to Marcella. “You know what? Fuck you, old man. You know where Felicia lives, you can sleep on her damned couch tonight. Take a damned cab if you can’t see well enough to drive.”  
Marcella clutched the keys in one hand, trembling slightly. “Vina? What about me?”  
“Have Feli drive you to my place. I’m not letting you stay with the old fuck. You can take the bed if you want it. I have business to take care of before I come home. Now get him out of my sight.”  
Augustus’s face hardened and he took Marcella by the arm, tugging her across the street with him without a word. Felicia pressed a hand to her forehead with a sigh. “Lovina, do you have to argue with him here?”  
Lovina crossed her arms, angry expression set in stone. “I cannot stand that man, sorella. I won’t have him in my apartment. Marcella? She’s wonderful. I want her with me, I don’t want him trying to take over her life as well.”  
“He’s trying to look out for you.”  
“Well he’s doing a fucking fantastic job of it, saying who I can and can’t talk to, isn’t he? Cazzo.”  
Felicia bit her lip, reaching out a tentative hand to squeeze Lovina’s arm. “I’ll have Marcella drive his car and follow me home, okay? Once he’s settled in a bit I’ll drive her over and help her get into your apartment. Don’t… don’t stay out on the streets all night, Vina. Be safe.”  
“Yeah. Whatever. Just go home, Feli. I’ll be fine, just… get him away from me. Please.”  
“Si…. Goodnight, Lovina.”  
Felicia took a step back before releasing her sister and turning to check the road and hurry across to the parking garage. Lovina stood beneath the restaurant’s awning until both her sister and her grandfather’s cars disappeared into the flow of traffic. It was then that she finally let out the breath she’d been holding and swallowed thickly. She moved back until her legs hit the cold metal of a bench, and she sat shivering as the night darkened and grew cold.  
It wasn’t until almost ten that the small woman’s thoughts were disturbed by a light touch on her shoulder. She flinched away from it, though the small movement caused a shiver.  
“Lovi, it’s below freezing out here, what are you doing? I thought everyone went home hours ago.”  
She bit down on her lip to keep it from trembling, hardly registering as Antonio slipped his jacket around her shoulders. “They did. I didn’t. Nonno pissed me off.”  
Antonio sat beside her, keeping a respectable distance. “Just like every other time you see him?”  
Involuntarily, Lovina smiled. It was small and it didn’t reach her eyes, but it was a smile nonetheless. “Shut up. He was rude as fuck, you know? To you, of all people. And then he tried to tell me I was like Mama and that I can’t make this mistake and I can’t talk to you.”  
“We haven’t been talking anyway.”  
“I know! But he’s trying to control me, again, just like he did with Mama. I mean, I assume that’s what he did with Mama anyway, there’s no other reason she would have hated him as much as she did. And he always calls Papa a mistake. He says Mama made a mistake, and he constantly tries to compare me to her.”  
“You love your mother, cariño. You always say so. Why is him comparing you to her so bad?”  
“Because he thinks I’m a fuck up, Toni.” Lovina pursed her lips, blinking hard to keep back tears. “I know he loved Mama but… he always talks bad about her, and then goes and tells me that I’m just like her, and it fucking hurts. I know he loves my sisters more than me, and that’s fine, but he doesn’t have to show it to me so often.”  
Antonio brushed a strand of hair behind her ear, taking her hand and pulling her up as he stood. “How about I drive you home? You’ve had a long day, I can tell.”  
Lovina took a long time to consider the offer, but eventually shook her head. “No. Toni, no. I… I can’t. We can’t be acting like this. We broke up, I said it, you said it…. We can’t do this.”  
“Let me call you a cab, then.”  
“Why?”  
“Because, Lovi. Call me whatever names you want, but I’m not letting you walk around this city in the dark all alone. I know I messed up, in February. I know I’m the reason we aren’t speaking. But I had to think. I still have to think. And I can’t know for sure what you think, but I know that in February I thought I was doing the right thing by giving you space. But I still care, of course I care. And if you won’t let me drive you, at least let me get you a cab.”  
The only sound for a few minutes was the quiet whoosh of tires on wet pavement, and then Lovina nodded. “Alright.”  
Antonio gave her a grateful look, stepping up to the curb and waving down a yellow car. When one finally slowed down and pulled over to the curb, he opened the back door and motioned for Lovina to come over. She slipped his jacket off of her shoulders and handed it back as she passed him and slid into the car. They didn’t say a word as he closed the door and stepped back, and it wasn’t until the driver asked for directions that she spoke.  
It was ten thirty when she finally stepped off the elevator onto her floor of the apartment building and tapped lightly on her door. Marcella answered a moment later, looking exhausted.  
“Vina! I… I wasn’t sure if you’d come back tonight.”  
“I said I would, didn’t I? How come you’re not sleeping yet?”  
Marcella yawned, smiling tiredly. “Someone had to let you in. You gave me your keys, remember? And I didn’t feel like pillaging your apartment for the extra blankets.”  
Lovina shivered, slipping out of her shoes and padding down the hall. “They’re in my closet. But what do you need them for?”  
“The couch. I’m not going to steal your bed, sorella.”  
Lovina rolled her eyes, stopping in the bathroom to take off her jewelry and wash her face. “It’s big enough to share. Do you think you can manage to stay awake for just one more hour?”  
Her younger sister shrugged, leaning on the doorway and watching. “I suppose.Why?”  
“Because I want to hear all about Paul. Just because I don’t have a life doesn’t mean I get sad listening to other people’s. And I really want to know how he managed to go from your best friend to your boyfriend.”  
Marcella giggled, yawning again. “Alright, deal. But only if you let me make the hot chocolate I saw in the kitchen.”  
Lovina paused, as if considering, then grinned. “You’re lucky I love you, you brat. Go make it while I change, and then we can gossip as I warm my feet back up under my thickest blankets.”  
“You’re weird, Vina. But you’ve got a deal. And I call the mug with the most marshmallows when it’s made. Dibs!”  
“Oh, suck a dick, sorella! You know I like marshmallows!”  
Marcella gave her sister a mischievous smile, bouncing away towards the kitchen to start boiling the water. Lovina lingered in the bathroom for a moment with a small smile, then shook her head and headed to the bedroom to change into her fuzzy pajamas. Maybe it would turn out a decent night after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Miei cari- my darlings
> 
> Felicia, ordine per me, per favore- Felicia, order for me, please
> 
> Non ho voglia di parlare con quel ragazzo- I have no wish to speak to that boy
> 
> Perché diavolo non? So che si parla solo italiano come questo quando sei arrabbiato. Quello che è successo lì dentro?- Why the hell not? I know you only speak Italian like this when you're angry. What happened in there?
> 
> Sembri tua madre maledetto, Lovina. Non voglio trattare qualcuno che ti ha fatto male come in famiglia. Tua madre ha fatto quell’errore e mi rifiuto di lasciare che accada di nuovo. Non voglio che tu a parlare di quell ragazzo sia.- You sound like your damn mother, Lovina. I will not treat someone who has hurt you like family. Your mother made that mistake and I refuse to let it happen again. I don't want you speaking to that boy either.
> 
> Che cosa? Stai andando a cercare di controllare anche me?- What? You're going to try to control me too?
> 
> Cazzo- Fuck


	9. Chapter 9

Lovina woke late, light streaming in from the gap in her curtains and dust motes swirling in the air above her head. She groaned and rolled over as she cracked open one eye. A mop of light brown hair was pooled on the pillow on the other side of the bed and she was momentarily confused as to why there was a person in her apartment, sleeping in her bed. But as the events of the night before came rushing back to her, she sighed and sat up, leaning over to try and see if her sister was awake yet. Once the Italian woman determined that Marcella was, in fact, still sleeping, she crawled carefully out of bed and down the hall to the kitchen.  
She stared blankly at her cupboards for a few minutes, replaying the last few hours of that night in her head. Finally, she shook her head and crossed the kitchen to stretch on her toes and grab a box of cereal from the top of the fridge. It was as she stood leaning against the counter and crunching her way through a bowl of cereal that Marcella appeared in the doorway.  
“Morning, Ella. Cereal’s on the fridge if you want some. Otherwise there’s fruit in the fridge or you can cook something.”  
Marcella shook her head, sliding across the linoleum floor in knee-high socks. She yawned, hardly having to stretch to get the box. “Cereal’s fine. Are your breakfasts always this eloquent?”  
“Usually.” Lovina made a face, dragging her tongue across her teeth and dumping the milk from her bowl down the sink. “What do you want to do today?”  
“I dunno. S’your birthday. What do you usually do?”  
“Work. Go out with Antonio for dinner. Or, if it’s Saturday, Elizaveta will drag me to a club.” Lovina stretched her arms above her head, yawning. “See, this is why I fucking hate Sundays. They’re always so indecisive, and no fun places are open even if you do end up wanting to go out.”  
Her sister giggled, shaking her head. “So why don’t we stay in? We can watch romcoms and pain our nails all day.”  
Lovina gagged and made a face. “Oh my god, college has turned my baby into a monster. What did your friends do to you? No… don’t tell me, I might die.”  
Marcella rolled her eyes, dipping her spoon back into her bowl. “You’re horrible, Vina, absolutely horrible.”  
“I could say the same to you, Ella, never forget that.”  
“Uh huh. Just go get the nail polish already. The stuff I ordered in from Italy for you. I know you still have it. So I’m gonna paint your nails.”  
The elder of the two narrowed her eyes and stuck out her tongue. “You are a little brat. And you’re lucky I love you.”  
Marcella winked with a mischievous smile. “I know!”  
Two hours later found the sisters seated cross-legged on Lovina’s couch with red fingernails and the tv playing Friends With Kids on mute. An arrangement of various types of alcohol sat out on the coffee table. Marcella had been giggling nonstop for the past three minutes, and Lovina was struggling not to roll her eyes.  
“You’re kidding. Vina, you’ve got to be kidding!”  
“No I am not! Your birthday is in a little over a month and you’d damn well be prepared to go out for it. And you can’t go out drinking if you don’t know what you like to drink.”  
“Lovina, what would Nonno say?”  
“Nothing. He won’t know. After all, he never found out about when I did it.”  
Lovina’s face split into a smile, her eyes sparkling. Marcella bit her lip, trying to hold back her laughter. “I can’t believe you drank before you were of age!”  
“Oh, it was only a week before my birthday! And it wasn’t my idea, it was Tonio’s. He was twenty two, so he bought me all different kinds of drinks and the week before my birthday, I told Nonno I was staying at Eliaveta’s with her and her parents. And I did go over there! But after about an hour, Tonio picked me up, and I stayed the night at their place.”  
“Their?”  
“Francis and Gilbert. Antonio lived with them for a few years. I stayed there and the four of us tried each and every bottle that Antonio had bought. Francis, of course, liked the wines. Gilbert went for the beer. Toni and I shared a bottle of rum. That was the best stuff there, to be honest. I like other things better, of course, but goddamn was that a good bottle of rum.”  
Marcella leaned forward, fascinated with the story. Lovina had always been more careful about sharing her college experiences with the youngest of the family than Felicia had. “Was it really expensive?”  
Lovina laughed, shaking her head. “God, no. We were in college, we couldn’t afford anything expensive. It was probably the cheapest rum those three ever bought. But I was sharing it with my boyfriend while I was still underage, and the whole place reeked of smoke thanks to Gilbert, and Francis was trying to get us to agree to putting on some porn movie for all of us to watch together, and it was probably the most unromantic date ever. It was college, and Nonno had no clue- that’s what made it wonderful.”  
“Does he know any of this now?”  
“Fuck no, I don’t want to die an early death. That was a good night, though. I’d drank little bits of wine or champagne when Nonno gave me permission before, but that was the first night I tried something new. Francis and Gilbert stopped drinking when they were buzzed, and Toni and I got absolutely shitfaced. I’m not entirely sure how I can remember it so well, seeing as I was drunk out of my mind. And, god, we had a good fuck that night.”  
“Oh my god!” Marcella gasped, clapping a hand to her mouth and lowering her voice to a whisper. “Is that when you lost it? Your virginity?”  
Lovina burst out laughing, laying back against the armrest. “No. God, no. Ella, I lost it when I was eighteen, in Antonio’s living room one day while Nonno was out for groceries.”  
“Was it romantic?”  
“Sort of? Not really, but it seemed like it back then. Nonno took you with him to get groceries, and Felicia was out with friends. Lizzie called and asked me if I wanted to stay the night, and after Nonno approved, I agreed. She’d said to be over at seven and I told Nonno she said three. I went to Antonio’s in the four hours between.”  
“I thought Nonno liked Antonio. Why did you sneak around to see him so much?”  
“Oh, of course he liked him! He just didn’t trust him. I couldn’t do more than two hours with him alone unless we were out on a date. So, when I said I was going to Lizzie’s early, he thought I was going to Lizzie’s. Elizaveta thought I was staying home until seven. I went over to Antonio’s and we watched a movie. I can’t quite remember the name of it, but that’s not important. We were eating candies, and he took the last one when the movie was over. So I, of course, had to challenge that authority and get the candy back, so I kissed him. And…. Well, I think that’s enough for you to know, anyway. You don’t want to hear about your big sister and… that stuff.”  
Marcella rolled her eyes, brushing a strand of hair from her face. “Fine, fine, I won’t press for the juicy details. But I fully expect to know everything in the future. Keep that in mind. And in the meantime, we’ve strayed off the topic of me trying alcohol, which I believe was your plan?”  
“Yes it was, little sister. I don’t have anything that I find nasty, got it? Well, I do, but it’s… those are for mixing. So you can try them straight if you really want, but I don’t recommend it.”  
“Okay, hit me. What do I try first?”  
Lovina studied the array of bottles for a few moments before she leaned forward and plucked out a bottle of white wine. “Asti. Good white, trust me. It’s sort of a… fruity flavor, I guess? Not too dry, fairly sweet. Go ahead.”  
She handed the bottle to Marcella, who tugged out the cork and took a small sip, then made a face. “Ew. No, it’s got a weird aftertaste.”  
“Fine. How about one of the other wines?” Lovina asked as she took the bottle back, making a face as she worked the cork back in.  
“No…. Nonno cooks with them a lot, I don’t like them. I’ve never tried champagne, though!”  
“And you won’t. I don’t have any. Buuuuut you’ll be old enough at Feli’s wedding, so you can have some there. And make sure you bring Paul along, got it?”  
Marcella rolled her eyes, picking up a small bottle. “Sure, sorella. What’s this one?”  
“A wine cooler. It’s a girly drink. That one is……” Lovina leaned forward to look at the label, then sat back, “pink lemonade. It’s alright. I prefer the apple kind, though. That one probably came from Bella last time she was over here.”  
Marcella twisted off the cap and took a drink, grimaced, then licked her lips. “Actually…. Not bad. I’ll keep it open to wash out the nasty stuff.”  
Lovina laughed, grabbing the whiskey. “Now this would be what we do shots of. I am definitely not fond of drinking a lot of it at a time.” She pulled off the cap and took a swig before handing it to her sister. “Enjoy the burn.”  
“The burn?” The question died on the young Italian’s lips as she pressed the bottle to her mouth and took a drink, nearly coughing it back up right away. “Mio Dio! That’s awful strong, isn’t it?”  
Her elder sister took the bottle back, not bothering to stifle her giggles. “Told you. And whatever you do, don’t drink the vodka straight. You’ll never forgive yourself. Personally, I like mixing it with orange juice and sloe gin, but I don’t have any of either of those. Here, try kahlua.”  
“Why?”  
“Cause it’s actually good. Tastes like coffee.”  
“Really?”  
“Little bit.”  
As Marcella took the bottle cautiously, Lovina’s phone began ringing from the bedroom. She groaned and stood up. “Keep trying stuff, kay?”  
Once her sister nodded, Lovina hurried to the bedroom and flopped on the bed to answer the phone. “Pronto?”  
 _“Happy birthday, babygirl! Now we’re the same age, yaaaaaaaayyy!”_  
Lovina winced and held the cellphone away from her ear, laughing. “Fuck, Liz, have you really got to yell?”  
 _“Of course, it’s exciting, what else would I do? Now, what are you doing? Bella and I want to kidnap you at four.”_  
“I am basking in the glory of being single on my birthday for the first time in ages. And Marcella is staying with me, so I think that rules out your plans of kidnapping.”  
 _“Damn it! Bella, I so told you she’d be with family!”_ Another voice joined Elizaveta’s, slightly quieter, like it was a few feet away from the speaker of the phone.  
 _“You did not! You said she’d be with Felicia and I told you that you were an idiot because obviously Felicia’s going to be out with her fiancée, so don’t you try blaming this on me!”_  
 _“Bella, come on. You can’t honestly think that I would be dumb enough to think she’d be with Felicia. Not after four or five, at least!”_  
“Or at all, you bitches. What are you trying to rope me into, anyway?”  
 _“Honestly, just a movie. Eliza thinks she’s so smooth-”_  
 _“No no no, this was your idea!”_  
 _“Thinks she’s so smooth, trying to make you think we’re doing something bad. We were gonna hang out at my place and eat junkfood while watching a movie. Marcella can come if she wants.”_  
 _“Wait, what? You liar, you told me we were gonna go out drinking!”_  
 _“Oh, come on, Liz. It’s a Sunday night. All three of us have to work in the morning. And could you honestly not hear the sarcasm dripping off my every word?”_  
Lovina laughed, sitting up. “I’ll be there, Bella. Calm her down before I come, though. And I’ll let Marcella tag along if she wishes. But please, please, please don’t try corrupting her again. If you do, I’ll fucking kill you both.”  
 _“Sure you will, babygirl. See you there!”_  
Before Lovina could say anymore, the line clicked off. She sighed and stood up, walking back to the doorway. “Hey, Ella, I’m gonna go to Bella’s in a couple hours. Wanna come?”  
“Sure, why not?” Marcella glanced up at her from the couch with a small smile. “If you’re sure you want me around them again, that is. By the way, I think someone knocked on the door. I wasn’t sure, though, and it isn’t my apartment, so I didn’t answer it.”  
Lovina nodded, muttering a quiet ‘thanks’ before pushing herself out of the doorway and down the hall. She glanced out the peephole, and, seeing no one, opened the door so she could peer down the hallway. It was empty, and the elevator doors were closed. As she went to close the door, she noticed a thin box sitting on the ground just in front of the door. She bent to pick it up, kicking the door closed as she headed back to the living room.  
Marcella looked up from where she was trying to close the bottle of rum. “Who was it?”  
“No one. It… it was a box.”  
“Ooooh, who from?”  
Lovina slipped a finger underneath the edge of the wrapping paper, slitting the tape and pulling it off carefully. A slip of paper fell out, fluttering to the floor while Lovina turned over the box to open it. Inside was a drawing pad and a pack of prismacolor colored pencils. She bit the inside of her cheek to keep from smiling, then bent to pick up the paper that had fallen. She sniffed it, and couldn’t help a smile from coming to her face.  
“Sorellaaaaaaa? Who’s it from?”  
“Antonio.”  
Marcella frowned suddenly, crawling across the couch to snatch the note from her sister. “How can you tell? It just says ‘happy birthday’.”  
“Smell it.”  
Narrowing her eyes, the younger raised the slip of paper to her nose to sniff it. “It smells like… cologne?”  
“Exactly. That’s the cologne he’s worn for the past four years. It’s him, I know it is.”  
“So what are you going to do?”  
Lovina’s smile fell, and she set the box aside. “Nothing. Actually, I will do something. I’ll go feed my turtles, and then I’ll actually change out of my pajamas so we can go to Bella’s looking presentable.”  
She disappeared into the bedroom, and Marcella slumped against the couch, making a face. “So that’s what she was hiding in that old fish tank….”


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for sticking with the story this long, and I'm sorry it's been so long since an update. It's slowly picking up, though, I hope!

“Do I have to go?”  
“I wish you didn’t Ella, I really do, but yes.” Lovina pulled her little sister into a hug and held her tightly. “I missed you so much, sorella.”  
Marcella smiled and kissed her sister’s cheek. “I’ll skype you when we get home or something. I just wish Nonno and I weren’t so far away from you all the time.”  
“You can’t help it. You’ve got a good life in Chicago. I can’t wait to see you again the week before Feli’s wedding, though.”  
There was a knock on the door and Lovina’s smile fell. Marcella squeezed her hand lightly and went to answer it. A moment later, Augustus and his granddaughter walked back into Lovina’s living room. Marcella coughed awkwardly, rocking on the balls of her feet. “I’ll uh… I’ll gather up my stuff, then.”  
As Marcella slipped into the bedroom, Augustus cleared his throat awkwardly. The silence hung thick and heavy and overbearing and as much as Lovina wanted to break it, she didn’t dare speak before her grandfather.  
“Lovina, my dear, I’m sorry you seem to hate me so much. I really am not sure what has made you feel this way. I only want the best for you, that’s all I’ve ever wanted. I don’t want to argue with you.”  
Lovina raised her chin, steeling her gaze. “It’s alright, Nonno. I know you love my sisters more. You don’t need to pretend.”  
“Lovina-”  
“Don’t. Please. You always say the same thing and I’m tired of it. You say you love me and you support me and you’re proud of me, but you’re _not_. You’re just not.”  
Augustus frowned, taken aback. “I don’t know what you mean. I am very proud of you. You have a stable job and a home and you love what you do.”  
“No I don’t, Nonno.” Tears welled up in Lovina’s eyes and she swallowed back the lump in her throat. “ _You_ love what I do. It pays well and I always act like my job is so damn wonderful, and I do it for you. I just don’t want to disappoint you anymore, but I’m always fucking acting and I hate it, I _hate_ it, and I can’t stop!”  
Augustus’s confused expression melted and he took a step forward, reaching out for his granddaughter. The moment he did so, she leapt back as if burned.   
“Lovina, I didn’t know, I didn’t.”  
“I know,” the woman sniffled, biting hard on her lip. “I know. You never paid enough attention to know. When Mama and Papa died, you were always focused more on Marcella and Felicia, you didn’t ever see me. You didn’t see that I was hurting too, because you never saw me cry like they did. I didn’t want to be weak in front of them, and they were always with you. You were always making sure they felt safe and loved and encouraged and I’m damn glad I was the one you ignored because they don’t deserve to feel like this.”  
“I have always loved you, Lovina, you’re my granddaughter, my daughter’s daughter, and you light up my life just as much as your sisters do. I tried to raise you all the same.”  
“Well you didn’t try hard enough, apparently.” She shook her head, wiping at the wetness on her cheeks. “You threw a party when Feli said she wanted to go to art school, and you’re paying for Marcella to get her master’s. I gave you a folder full of my designs in highschool and you didn’t even look at me. So I went to the school you wanted me to go to and I studied what you wanted me to and I got a job at the company you wanted me at. The only thing I never did for you was Antonio. I dated him for me, but I fucked that up too, just like everything I try to do for myself. “  
Lovina pressed a hand to her forehead, drawing a deep breath to steady herself.  
“Well I quit. I fucking quit. I’m not doing things for you anymore. I’m going to work tomorrow and I’m walking into my boss’s office and I’m telling him I quit. I’m going to start designing again, and I’ll sell my designs and make a name for myself and I won’t ever let myself feel like nothing because of you again.”  
Her grandfather sighed, his eyes shining with tears. “Lovina, I had no idea you felt that way. And I’m sorry I caused it. I didn’t know. I love you, I always have, but… I should have conveyed that better. I’m sorry. I am so sorry. Please, you don’t have to love me and you don’t have to forgive me, but accept my apology.”  
The Italian woman stood rooted to the spot, sizing up her elderly grandfather, then nodded slowly. “Fine. Fine. Now take your shit and get out of my city. And take good care of my sister. Marcella needs you still. Just… go home, and don’t try to contact me. I’ll see you in June for the wedding, and until then I don’t want to hear a word from you and I don’t want to see your face.”  
Marcella cleared her throat awkwardly from the doorway of the bedroom. Augustus looked down at the floor, then straightened his shoulders and nodded once. Marcella walked over and took his hand, and they left without a word.   
Lovina stood in place for a good ten minutes, then walked shakily over to her couch and collapsed onto it. She let out a long, uneven breath and burst into nervous giggles, running her hands through her hair. That night, she fell asleep with a smile on her lips.  
Tuesday morning, she wore her hair down, letting the waves fall naturally. She dressed in a blue knit sweater and skinny jeans and blue suede pumps with bows over her toes. She smiled into the mirror as she put in her earrings, and when she left her apartment, she walked with newfound confidence. She met Elizaveta outside her building with her eyes sparkling as she slid into her friend’s little silver car.  
Elizaveta raised an eyebrow. “Okay one, you look even more gorgeous than usual, which I didn’t think was possible. Two, you’re wearing jeans to work?”  
“Si.” Lovina gave a dazzling smile, drawing in a deep breath. “I’m quitting today. Or resigning. Depends on how well Sadik takes the news.”  
The Hungarian woman pulled out into traffic carefully, engagement ring glinting on her finger. “Babygirl, are you sure?”  
“One hundred percent. I finally told Nonno off yesterday and…. He was okay with it. I’m taking control of my own life, and I feel great. I’ll work the rest of today, since it’s our last day of the week anyway, and then… who knows? I feel free. Like I can finally fucking _breathe_ , you know?”  
Elizaveta grinned. “I know exactly what you mean. I just can’t quite believe you’re actually doing it. Good for you. You deserve to have a little fun. But if you don’t mind me asking, what are you going to do for money? Apartments aren’t free, and neither is food.”  
“I’m going to sell my designs. And start designing again. And maybe I’ll actually be able to make my designs instead of just selling them. Like my prom dress from senior year, only I won’t just make dresses. I can make whatever I feel like making.”  
The sun rose above the city buildings and shone into the little car. The women made their way to the office, chattering the entire way, and the smile didn’t leave Lovina’s face that day. She met with Sadik Adnan as soon as she arrived, and he congratulated her on her decision. She signed the resignation papers and shook his hand. She caught a ride home with Bella, who promised to buy her a drink the next night. When she walked in the doors of her apartment building, she pulled Lee aside and asked if he would like to join her for dinner. She cooked for the both of them and spent the evening discussing life with the elderly doorman. He told her he was proud of her and thanked her for the meal as he left, and she treated herself to a mug of hot chocolate before bed. And for the second night in a row, she fell asleep smiling and feeling alive.


End file.
